I Went To Ninja School To Learn How To Murder You

Hey, I'm back. I bought new mittens. So I guess I have to figure out what to do with all the yarn that Dane's been sending me the past few weeks. Maybe I'll use it as "padding" the next time I'm out tomcatting. Tom O'Malley gots nothin' on me.

So... now what? I dunno, when you come back from not blogging for a while you don't want to start posting all the 'A' material right at the beginning. Ya wanna wait for yer readers to catch up with ya before ya start tossin' out the pearls! Like the post where I imagined Dane and I were old Newfies for no particular reason whatsoever. The best part was that I got that picture from a extreme right-wing militia site! It's a good thing the only person who still has their full image on the site is Dane, eh? Best watch out for them firebombs, my chef-ly friend...

Pondering switching the site over to the New Blogger...

Anyway, I've been getting back into the music "scene" and I've heard a band y'all likely might get a kick out of. They're called Woodpigeon and they're based out of Calgary. I've heard comparisons to Sufjan Stevens, but seeing as the only track of his I've heard is Chicago, I don't know how apt of a comparison it is. (Note: An instrumental version of Chicago is played over the first moments in the van in Little Miss Sunshine.) However, they have songs called Death by Ninja (A Love Song) and A Sad Country Ballad for A Tired Superhero. And with that, Dane's on board!

Like any hip band, they have a MySpace.

Go to their official site and download a free EP! You cheap bastards, you.

Or you can buy their album on iTunes, alternatively. Obviously, the most savvy choice.

Man, pimpin' ain't easy.

I wonder?

In the moments before I nearly took off my own thumb, I had a blackout. I remember chopping romaine lettuce like I do every morning, then I go blank. The next memory I have is me, crying and holding my thumb. Damn it hurt.

Later that night, I began to wonder. What happened in those brief seconds that elude me? I think I know. It was all Joel. He used his mind control on me.

Why would he do this?

It's because I have his mittens.

I wouldn't try using your amazing mind control ability on me again, Joel. I'm now holding your wooly hand garments hostage. You should be receiving a strand of string in the mail any day now. I'll be sending another each week until you meet my demands.

The list:
1. Admit Pulp is the best band ever!
2. Wear a towel around your neck like a cape for one full day and pretend to fly from class to class.
3. Challenge two people to a hop-scotch tournament. Grid must have at least twelve squares.
4. Make some girl watch every episode of Invader Zim.
5. Don't talk about David Cross for 15 minutes straight.

That's it for now. I'll be watching to make sure the tasks get completed.

Bad day at the office.

Today at work, I got into a knife fight.

With myself.

I damn near took the tip of my thumb clean off.

It hurt and now I have one blue band-aid and one yellow band-aid on my thumb.

I look queer, but, at least, there's no more blood squirting everywhere.



I'd also like to give a shout out to the person who thought to put a yellow light in between the red and green. Those brief seconds reduce the number of accidents by infinity. Good job!



Who saw the Seahawks game tonight? Holy crap, it was amazing. Go Hawks. You rock!


I went to the Pursuit of Happyness on Friday night. It was good if you like super sad movies.