Say You Want a Revolution

Hi there! We're deep into the lazy days of summer, and I'm sure you're feeling refreshed and utterly content with life. So content, in fact, that on a cellular level I'm sure your mitochondria are kickin' back and having a brewski with some ribosomes. Well, as usual, I'm here to shit all over that like a retarded doberman with diarrhea.

One of the many statistical reports the U.S. government puts out is the Science & Engineering Indicators Report. This is basically of collection of data concerning the state of science in the United States; you know, enrollment numbers of post-secondary science programs, amount of funding allocated to R&D programs, that whole grey-and-deeply-boring ball of wax. Boring, that is, until you read the section concerning public attitudes towards science.

Now, I am painfully aware that some people's drama radars are pinging wildly at the moment, because they feel I'm going to shove them down some Creationism v. Evolution Slip-N'-Slide and that usually only ends up with a huge muddy patch on the lawn and grass stains on our knees as we slide about on plastic molded talking points that we've heard ten thousand times before and I torture this sad f***ing Slip-N'-Slide metaphor within an inch of its f***ing life. Well, rest assured that although that whole debate does factor into the survey I'm going to mention, I'm going to treat it how I usually treat it, which is like a hot woman with a flamethrower. No matter how interested you are in touching it, it's just never a good idea.

Anyways, a bunch of surveys were taken worldwide asking people the answers to some science literacy questions. The exciting and sexy answers were then captured in an absolutely fabulous bar chart, which I'm linking to you here. Go ahead, open it in a new tab, we might be referring to it a couple of times. Now, for the first rush of being completely f***ing bummed, consider that the longer the bar the better the responses, then consider the just utterly terrifying expanses of white space in some of those chart groupings.

Well, we can temper those feelings of despair right quickly if we look at some of these questions. We'll quickly brush past the big bang and evolution ones, if only to note the U.S. responses in relation to their relatively high marks on other questions, which I find pretty interesting... but the hot woman just sparked the pilot light on her flamethrower, so let's move on, shall we? Getting the laser question wrong I can forgive. In fact, if the question had been "Are lasers made out of sound or out of light?" I'm pretty sure the number of correct responses would increase dramatically. Most of the remaining questions I'm sort of indifferent to. I mean, I would definitely like to see a global society where everyone answered these questions right, but at the same time, an otherwise intelligent person can safely lead a happy and productive life without knowing where an electron falls on the quantum scale.

Unfortunately, there are some troubling responses as well. First off is the question dealing with whether or not antibiotics have any effect on a virus. The one and only correct response is NO! Antibiotics have absolutely no effect on a virus. They might piss off a virus, perhaps, as all these weird things keep crashing into it while it wages war with your white blood cells, but antibiotics certainly won't kill it. The reason I find this troubling? Here's why. The fact that close to half of the United States (with even more dismal results overseas) would take an antibiotic to treat their head cold if they could is distressing.

But ultimately, the thing that disturbs me the most, and what ultimately inspired me to write this post in the first place, is the response to the question of whether the Earth goes around the Sun or vice versa. Hey, no brainer, right? 70% of Americans answered this question correctly, so that's okay, right? Actually, no, that's pretty f***in' far from okay. You know why? Because there are still 30% of people who think the Sun orbits us. And the European Union, which is popularly held up as the last enclave of rational thought in the world, scored even worse!

You know why this is distressing? Because this isn't some boring scientific term quickly forgotten after the semester is over. This isn't the internal workings of some scientific "black box" that the average dumbass on the street isn't going to understand. It's practically Science itself.

First off, the Copernican model of the earth orbiting the sun is pounded into our heads relentlessly the moment we can grasp the concept of outer space. We are constantly reminded of it in school, our friends and family will touch on it from time to time, and even the goddamned Smurfs brought it up. It is common fundamental knowledge on the level of "there are clouds in the sky!" or "Don't screw your family members!"

The reason why? So much of what we understand about the world is a result of the Copernican model. For example, without it, gravity as a scientific concept goes out the window. No gravity, then there goes a fair chunk of physics. The adoption of the Copernican model was so vital to the Scientific Revolution of the late Renaissance that I can't fathom where we'd be without it.

As a result, to not understand or to go so far as to reject that model is a level of thick-headed pig ignorance so massive that it actually needs to be achieved through dedication and hard work. That fact that so many people worldwide are willing to pursue it is just depressing.