Evil gets crushed!

Anthony is a busy guy on Mondays. You can tell by the way he wanders around the office with a disgruntled look on his face. Anthony is another reporter at the Rocky Mountain House Mountaineer, and Monday is production day, so it's busy.

I often wonder if all his wandering is really him planning out the quickest possible way to kill everyone. He counts his steps, and looks for problem areas. Where would the resistance come from? Where is the best and most likely place to reload? Is a nice circle route the best or would a quick in and out straight line be appropriate? Could he make it out the back door before the cops get to the paper? I'm sure he's clocked out how long it takes to drive from the police station the Mountaineer.

Then it happens. Snap! Anthony pulls his gun out of his camera bag. We all thought it was a Nikon D-100. It turned out to be an AK-47. Bullets spray the office. Two secretaries are left for dead. Little bloody holes appear on their bodies. The remaining employees panic. They yell and scream. The loudest cry comes from the desk in the corner, by the window. Dane didn't believe today could be the last of his life.

The only problem Anthony didn't foresee was Joel Nielsen: Disorientedman. He stumbles into the office with the first cries for help. Anthony, with his gun, tries and shoot the superhero. Unfortunately, the DoM's movements are unpredictable. One minute he's lurching to the right and the next moment he's face first on the ground. There's no way to anticipate the DoM's actions.

"Ssstoppp," slurs the DoM, spittle flies from his mouth as he unknowingly exaggerates his P in stop.

Anthony lets out a laugh. He has no idea the ass kicking he's going to get.

"dOOn't U laffff at meeee," the DoM utters as he crashes into the photocopier. A gush of blood erupts from his forehead. "Eowwww." Blood stings the DoM's eyes. His vision blurs, which doesn't help the double vision he already has.

"You stupid drunk bastard. Get out of here before you kill yourself," Anthony states. He points his gun at the DoM and makes a threatening face. It's really scary.

"I'mm not druunkk. I'm just disoriented, man," responds Joel Nielsen with DoM written on his chest. The reek of rye is on his breath and urine stains his pants. It's been a rough day of disorienting people at the local strip club. The DoM is starting to realize his tolerance to his rye transformation solution is increasing. He'll have to increase his dosage to doubles. It won't belong before he's downing triples.

Bang! Anthony fires his gun. Disorientedman can't stand up straight and falls over to his left, narrowly eluding the bullet.

"Hold still you piece of shit," yells Anthony, frustrated with the DoM's inability to stay still.

In the corner of the office, hidden under his desk another superhero is about to make an appearance.

Bang! A second shot. A second miss. Anthony lets loose a ferocious scream of frustration. The DoM falls to the ground and covers his ears.

"Whaaatt de helll waas thhat?" asks Joel's alter ego, as we grabs his flask of serum and downs a little. He gets to his feet after two failed attempts.

In the corner, a mask is pulled over a face.

Anthony lets loose a couple rounds. A bunch more employees are bloodied up. The DoM reacts. He falls forward straight onto Anthony's shoes. Just enough to hold Anothony in one spot.
A death cry errupts from the corner of the room.

"Oh my god, it's the guy with the abilities of a dung beetle," Stu proclaims. It was earlier in the week Stu won a celebrity look alike contest for his Brent Butt impersonation.

"Yes it is I. Dungbeetleguy." DBG runs over to Anthony and pushes him against the wall. He rolls Anthony into a ball. The sounds of bones snapping can be heard by the radio station upstairs. DBG finally quits rolling Anthony into a bloodied pulp. He wakes the DoM up. The DoM passed out as soon as his head his the carpet.

Evil was vanquished and a new superhero duo formed. A pair that could rival Clark Kent and Superman, weed and Rob, Dave and Bob, peanut butter and jam on bread. Villains beware! Rocky Mountain House has a pair of crime fighters who aren't smart enough to get out of your way. With the DoM as the peanut butter and DBG as the jam, they're going to make one tasty sandwich.