And in this corner...Spiderman

Time: 5.5 hours to go
Location: fortress of solitude (back of Rolf’s store)

Dane and Joel finally removed their superhero costumes for a quick wash. The duo can’t wait until 7 p.m. when Spiderman 2 opens.

Dane wraps his lips around a straw and sucks up a huge amount of watermelon slurpee. A momentary brainfreeze cripples the crimefighter who can push big rocks with the greatest of ease. The second gulp does the same. Dane can’t take the pain anymore and slams the slush against the wall.

Joel comes back after attending to a customer, lights a cigarette and exhales a breath of pure smoke. A satisfying look crosses his face. With all the criminal inactivity in the Rocky area, Joel’s sobered up. He’s been too busy slaving for the man, Rolf, to devour gallons and gallons of rye serum. Dane wonders if this superhero team will disband in the near future.

“Only five and a half fucking hours to go,” states Joel, who has taken up swearing instead of drinking. “Shit! Spiderman 2 is going to fucking rock ass!”

“Yep,” Dane replies. “They should really make a new Superman movie.”

Joel begins a rant about some site with all the latest Superman movie gossip. Dane stares at the slurpee slowly dripping down the wall. How could a cup of delicious fluid defeat the mighty Dung Beetle Guy? It must be some ingenious weapon from some super villain, or maybe frozen drinks are DBG’s kryptonite.

“You know, fuck, Spiderman could kick the living shit out of fucking Superman, don’t you assface?” Joel inquires of Dane.

Dane gives Joel the glance of death. It doesn’t work. Dane wonders if his super powers are fading.

“How the hell could you say that!?” Dane yells back. “There is no possible way. Spiderman wouldn’t stand a chance.”

“Fuck you! All he’d need is some kryptonite crap,” Joel says. “Asshole Superman would be a useless piece of shit.”

“Damn it, you’re right,” concedes Dane. “But without kryptonite, Superman would smash Spiderman. Hell, even Superdog could squish Spiderman.”

“Well, that’s a given,” is Joel’s only reply.

The front door chimes. Joel rushes to the till ready to serve his next customer. He’s taking care of his duty to society. He sells legal drugs to addicts. Whether it’s sugar to kids, nicotine to smokers or porn to sexaholics, Joel is right there ready to feed the needs of the citizens of Rocky. Without Joel, they'd have to buy their stuff from someone else.