In Repose

Hi! Joel here, broadcasting live over the airwaves of Radio Free Joel. And I mean Radio Free Joel as a takeoff of the popular R.E.M. song Radio Free Europe, not Radio Free Joel in the sense of a plucky radio station devoted to saving Joel from tyranny and oppression in a big grassroots campaign run by lots of starry-eyed college students where they play kick-ass protest songs written by famous bands, and then there's this huge benefit concert where all the cool indie acts say stuff like "The message is Joel!" or hold moments of silence in my honour... damn, that all sounds really cool. Can we make this happen? Is there anyone who wants to arrest for me a controversial and deeply political crime? Let's do lunch!

So yeah, in an earth-shattering change of pace, I'm writing this post in my notebook at home instead of furiously pounding a post out during my lunch break. This affords me a more leisurely pace. Like, I could get up and have a sandwich and play an hour's worth of Rock Band at any time if I felt like it. And the best part is that unless I explicitly tell you that I've taken a break, there's no way you can tell! You still experience the uninterrupted flow of searing wit and clever wordplay you're used to on a daily basis. The only problem is that my artistic vision might get brutally edited by that sadistic jerk I like to call Lunchtime Joel. Yeah, you've all read that guy's posts, and you've seen what they're like! Where's the passion, man? He used to have ideals! Damn, what a tool.

So I spent the evening tidying up the place. You know, cleaning the bathroom, taking out the garbage, and organizing the bedroom. (I also did a bunch of push-ups, but that's neither here nor there.) When I first came to this basement in October of last year, I hated the place but vowed to tough it out until my contract at the library ran out. It's kind of amazing how much my attitude has changed. I was glancing about my room after it was all tidy and I was amazed at how homey it felt. It's almost like I've got roots here now. Not enough to base an award-winning miniseries on, but roots nonetheless. I guess it's a good thing too, seeing as I've just gained permanent status at the library. Ah, what can can compare to the loving embrace and soft carress of job security? Although I have to admit, it does get a bit clingy at times... no, Job Security! Put down the knife! I honestly wasn't talking to any other women! NOOOOOO!