The Scruntiest Girl I Have Ever Seen

I'm in the midst of cataloguing Lady in the Water, that M. Nighty-Night Shyamalan flick that came out a couple of years ago. From the sounds of it a lot of people didn't bother to go see that movie, so I feel obliged to point an important detail that several of you never got to witness. The monsters are called scrunts. Scrunts! I realize the movie might have sucked but I now have a new favorite word. What do you think of that, you scrunty b****es?

Then again, the MSN Encarta dictionary lists it as an intransitive verb from the Caribbean meaning "financially strapped: to be in a poor financial situation". I don't know, if you walked up to somebody and said "I've been scrunting hardcore lately!" the last thing that would come to his or her mind would be your financial situation. He or she might even try to give you a high five. Actually, the person might be more likely to just give you the thumbs-up. With a word like scrunt who knows where your hand has been?

Before I drag this post further into the toilet I'd like to announce that Rolf's Groceries has a brand new soft ice cream machine. It comes with that whole Flavor Burst system that nobody ever really cares about, but at least the option is open for you to add some pretty gross Creme de Menthe or German Chocolate syrup to your soft ice cream. (I think those flavours were imported.) On the back of the machine there was a sticker saying that the date inspected was 1967. That seemed pretty bad until I saw it said 19 G 7. I think that might be better. I'm not sure. Seems pretty scrunty, if you ask me.

SCRUNT SCRUNT SCRUNT SCRUNT SCRUNT

1 2 Scrunt 4, tell me that you scrunt me more

There, I hope that I've got that out of my system. Seeing as everybody else got it out of their system two years ago. By the way, have you heard of that show Lost? It's supposed to be REALLY good!