April Flurries Bring May... Curries

First off, I would like to deliver an FU (or Foo) to this godawful weather. I should not have to deal with these ridiculous snow drifts at the end of April. I would like to make a withdrawal from these snow banks and deposit them in a nice slush fund somewhere. Or margarita fund, as the case may be. And I already retired my poor, beleagured toque! Can't I cut the stupid thing a break and not constantly force it to warm my scaly scalp?

Man, that snow bank joke was pretty terrible, wasn't it? I'm not going to delete it though. Might as well deal with my personal failures head on.

You know, the more I think about it, the more I realize that winter is like some perverted, drunken uncle. When he comes for his yearly visit, you're almost sort of happy to see him at first. It's like, hey! I remember this fun, colorful guy! Good times! But wouldn't you know it, soon he's back to walking around the house in an open housecoat with nothing on underneath, vomiting on your friends, and taking shits in the oven. And just when you think you got rid of the guy, it turns out that his flight got cancelled and he's staying for another week!

Who else votes that they change it from Old Man Winter to Perverted Drunken Uncle Winter?

On a happier note, I'd like to announce another birthday! Yes, today is the birthday of the crotchety woman I sublet my house in Rocky Mountain House to. She's pretty cool but she can be real bossy at times. Yeah, she's always like, "Pay your bills!" or "Get married and have some kids so I can be a grand... person you sublet to!". Always getting on my case like that. What a nosy broad.