I wonder?

In the moments before I nearly took off my own thumb, I had a blackout. I remember chopping romaine lettuce like I do every morning, then I go blank. The next memory I have is me, crying and holding my thumb. Damn it hurt.

Later that night, I began to wonder. What happened in those brief seconds that elude me? I think I know. It was all Joel. He used his mind control on me.

Why would he do this?

It's because I have his mittens.

I wouldn't try using your amazing mind control ability on me again, Joel. I'm now holding your wooly hand garments hostage. You should be receiving a strand of string in the mail any day now. I'll be sending another each week until you meet my demands.

The list:
1. Admit Pulp is the best band ever!
2. Wear a towel around your neck like a cape for one full day and pretend to fly from class to class.
3. Challenge two people to a hop-scotch tournament. Grid must have at least twelve squares.
4. Make some girl watch every episode of Invader Zim.
5. Don't talk about David Cross for 15 minutes straight.

That's it for now. I'll be watching to make sure the tasks get completed.