Crazy Joel Divola

I really think Rolf’s convenient store should adopt the policy of chopping the hands off shoplifters.
It’d be great to see Joel wrestle some ten-year-old kid to the ground, pin the thief’s arm to the floor and chop off a couple fingers with a meat cleaver.
Joel would wipe the drool off his lips, grab the mop and start to clean up.
I guess the only problem with this is that Joel would go insane and start slicing the limbs off of everyone makes him mad, which is every single person on the planet.
Eventually the police would have to take him down with some tranquillizer darts and disperse him somewhere in the wilderness up by Williams Lake.
He’d be the crazy bushman. Campers would have to beware. There'd be signs that read "Don't feed the Joel!" and "Joel has herpes!" I'd post the second one just for fun. Plus, I heard Rocky was the sex disease capital of highway 11. For some reason though, the number was supposed to take a huge drop in September, when Joel leaves for Edmonton. It could just be a conincidence.
I'm sure after enough wilderness living, Joel would have some wacky pinecone computer with a wild strawberry vine internet connection, just so he could spread his blogger wisdom onto the rest of the world. Everyone should check out his post about Contra. Contra rocks! Although, I was always a big fan of Sega's Shinobi. Yes, my taste in video games is why I only see Joel about once a year on average. It's not because of the six hour drive.

If the hand chopping isn’t good enough, at least get the broom out. Joel could chase all the annoying customers out of the store with a broom.
The broom has mystical powers that seem to scare the hell out of people.


Anyone wondering about the title, I have cable now, so I get four episode's of Seinfeld everyday. I am a happy guy.