Have a little mercy on me....

I am the king of mercy fighting.
My dangly twig arms are amazing at making people cry out in pain.
On Friday night, I was at the Keg Room with my lady, and this one guy wanted to arm wrestle me.
I don’t arm wrestle. I’ve never won an arm wrestling match against a guy, and I’ve only barely won against women.
Anyway, I challenged him to a two-handed mercy fight.
We went outside so we wouldn’t cause a scene in the bar.
At the sound of go, I thought he was going to give me a little challenge.
We were about the same size.
I did the old push his arms into his body and twist routine.
It worked. He yelped mercy three times in less than five seconds.

Other interesting things that happened Friday night:
A drunk native guy asked to crash on the floor of my apartment. I said no.
The same guy said I owed him money because he beat me at pool. He actually would have owed me a drink because I beat him at pool.
Had to tell a coworker to quit getting all touchy feely with my girlfriend. He's one of those creepy guys that likes to give back rubs and hugs to drunk girls. I don't think our working relationship will be very good. It doesn't matter much though. I never liked him from day one.
This drunk guy somehow got the impression that my girlfriend was his girlfriend. He wanted to fight. My girlfriend and I just ended up leaving. I'm pretty sure the guy got the picture.
The band was decent.
I got the high score on four different games on the video game machine at the bar. I rock.