Run away! Run away!

Some people are scared of spiders. Some people are afraid of tin foil, while others hide from the dark.
Not me. My biggest fear is in the washroom. It’s absolutely horrible. Every time I walk into the bathroom and it’s there, I freeze and take a step back in horror.
What’s my third biggest fear after public speaking and seeing Joel naked?
It’s a toilet seat with the lid down. Who knows what’s underneath? Whatever it is, it needs a lid to cover it up from plain view.
I always expect to see something absolutely nasty, and as soon as it smells my fear leaps out of the bowl covering me with nastiness.
There’d be nothing but faeces exploding in my direction. Ewww! It’s even worse in public washrooms. What you can find in those is outstanding. I heard some very awful stories from a BP’s janitor back in the day. Not good.
I never really understood the purpose of the lid. Everyone flushes afterwards right? I don’t mind seeing a nice clean toilet. I guess its function is to keep the alligators from crawling up the pipes and into the houses.
I’m not too worried about the gators. My last encounter with one of those cold blooded creatures ended up with me having a new pair of pants.