Run Dane run

I was leaning up against the bar waiting to purchase a beverage. I was thirsty.
The bartendress gave me a nod. It was my turn to order.
“Kokanee please,” I said under my breath so she had to lean in a little closer to hear.
I also moved forward a little. Our faces were inches apart.
“Kokanee please,” I repeated adding a wink this time.
She gave me a smile and fetched my beer. I handed her a $5 bill, gave her a thank you and told her to keep the change.
“Come back anytime,” she said which ended our exchange.
I walked back over to the table where me and my buddies were standing. It was one of those tall tables where you just lean and by the end of the night your elbows are soaked in liquor.
The bar was livening up. It was starting to get crowded.
I was having some good conversation with the friends. The topics included the local sports teams, the drunk slutty girl and who could lift the most weight over their head.
Joel always won the lifting competition. He once pressed an entire couch. It was incredible.
It was right then that something brushed up against my ass.
I turned around. It was an incredibly gorgeous girl. I gave her a quick look and immediately looked to the floor. There’s no way I could maintain eye contact with someone so pretty.
“Oops sorry,” she said with the most beautiful voice.
I mumbled something that let her know I accepted her apology.
She turned around and walked away.
I finally took a breath and turned back to where I was leaning.
“Stud,” Joel said in a mocking voice.


.....The bar was livening up. It was starting to get crowded.
I was having some good conversation with the friends. The topics included the local sports teams, the drunk slutty girl and who could lift the most weight over their head.
Joel always won the lifting competition. He once pressed an entire couch. It was incredible.
It was right then that something brushed up against my ass.
I whirled around and came face-to-face with the culprit. The rage was building.
“Did you just grab my ass?” I questioned the blond-haired girl that under regular circumstances would stop my heart.
“That’s sexual harassment lady. I should call the fucking cops and have you taken in. You can’t be just clutching and grabbing whoever the hell you want.”
I throw my bottle of beer to the floor to accentuate my disgust with the girl.
Her eyes were wide, staring at me in bewilderment.
“I know this was some sort of subtle pick up line. You gently grab me. We start talking. You get me drunk and date rape me. Well that’s not how it works in my world,” I snarled in her direction. Chucks of spittle were flying into her face. One drop was so big it left a trail down the bridge of her nose.
“Next time you try and pick up some guy, introduce yourself. Say something like ‘hi my name is ....” This was sad you should be ashamed.”
Tears started to well up in the corner of her eyes. She turned around and walked away.
I finally took a breath turned back to where I was leaning.
“Bitch,” Joel said in a disgusted voice.


.....The bar was livening up. It was starting to get crowded.
I was having some good conversation with the friends. The topics included the local sports teams, the drunk slutty girl and who could lift the most weight over their head.
Joel always won the lifting competition. He once pressed an entire couch. It was incredible.
It was right then that something brushed up against my ass.
I turned around. “Well hello, I believe you just touched my ass,” I jokingly suggested in a british accent.
“What are you going to do about it? She inquired with a coy smile on her face.
Incredible, a witty comment, good looks and she’s wearing a superman T-shirt. The game had begun. We joked flirted and I ended up purchasing a couple beers.
It was a chugging contest. If I win, I get her number. If she wins, I have to take her for ice cream. I hate ice cream. It hurts my sensitive teeth.
I tilt my head back and let the beer flow. Of course I win, only tiny trails of spillage drip down my chin.
She slaps her number down on the table. Says thanks for the beer and rejoins her friends.
I finally take a breath and turn back to where I was leaning.
“Nice,” Joel says in an impressed voice.