Enough already.

It’s time to settle the debate. Is Britney Spears pregnant?
My solution is easy. Let’s send Joel down there to knock her up.
Joel would get the job done. He’s the man. Joel doesn’t take crap. He just goes hard until the job’s done. That’s what the pop princess needs.
She wants a kid, so hire Joel. He’s the stud out to pasture in Rocky Mountain House. Well actually, he’s situated near Leslieville now.
His fee is a measly $10,000 per insemination, but if it doesn’t take by the third time he’ll deliver the fourth for free. It’s never taken him more than two attempts though, and that was some fat ugly chinese lady. Who could blame him?
By purchasing Joel for his services who’ll receive offspring that would have mad computer skills, be able to use and understand big words, always do his/her homework, play video games at an adult level and watch movies (Mr. Show) for hours on end without getting bored.
Once Joel gets busy with Britney, the tabloids would have something new to write about, and they need something new. No one cares about the pregnancy or Justin Timberlake and Diaz, Nick and Jessica or Brad and Jenn. It’s time to move on.
They could write about the new mysterious man in Mrs. Spears life (Joel), what happened to that dancer husband and is that extremely cool friend of Joel’s they call Dane for real, because he seems to good to be true?
Although I have to beg the media to give me a little privacy. I’ll do what I can to accommodate interviews and photo shoots, but I can’t make any promises.