Everything's Coming Up FCBs!

Well, I can't believe it. The wait has been arduous -- and at some points, utterly baffling -- but after nine months of gnashing of teeth and rending of clothes by its customer base, Rolf's Groceries finally has working slush machines again. Eight splendored tumblers full of frozen flavoured carbonated sugar water, all humming in glorious unison... why, that harmony outdoes the cheeriest group of bluebirds one could ever hope to see.

(Pssst... the industry term for a slush is an FCB, or a frozen carbonated beverage! So now you know!)

I still remember the halcyon days when I started at the store, when I first saw the sight of 8 slush tumblers all working at once. I never knew it would take almost seven years for me to see it again. You see, after a little while one went down. Then another. Then another! We tried getting them fixed, but they conked out again a month or two down the line. Pretty soon we were down to two tumblers, and that's the way it stayed for a good long time. Why? Don't ask why. Seriously, I kept wondering why and blood almost started shooting from my ears from the absurdity of it all.

Sometime last year the final two tumblers wheezed their last. Right at the beginning of the summer season. Every time I try to focus on that period and remember details about it, I get a glazed, hollow stare and think nothing but the colour gray for ten minutes. So perhaps I'll just move on.

I asked the boss if he wanted to make the new signs for the machine or if I should go ahead and do it. He paused, then said "Yeah, I think I'd better make them myself." Sheesh, the man has serious trust issues! Just because I put signs in the window last summer that said "Rolf Is Your Friend", "Rolf Loves You!" and "Rolf Thinks You Look Good in That Shirt!" Or when I changed the ice cream sign so that Rolo became "Rolf's Rolo" and from that point on people kept asking him what made his Rolo so special.

Later on that evening, two of the tumblers stopped freezing properly.

*sigh*

Welcome to your new home, slush machines. You seem to fit in just fine.