Mythology, Cakes, and Male Perversion

Some books that came across my desk today:

100 Characters from Classical Mythology

Sweet Christmas, how many kids did Odysseus sire during the Odyssey? Seriously!

Odysseus: I really need to get back home to my wife!
Random Woman: Hey, hang out and have sex with me for a few years.
Odysseus: *sigh* I guess I have no choice.

Meanwhile, his wife Penelope is fighting off suitors left and right while he's getting it on with every woman he crosses paths with. I don't imagine that ever came up when he made it back to her. Then again, I guess he was too busy kicking ass. The study of the Odyssey we did in junior high never included what happened he finally made it back to Ithaca, and after I read the Odyssey myself a few years back, I see that there was a very good reason for that. Puts any Charles Bronson or Dirty Harry movie to shame, really.

Kids' Birthday Cakes

These are some of the most whacked-out/ornate birthday cakes I have ever seen. And what's the point? A cake is made to be eaten, and as long as it tastes good, who cares if it's shaped like a kite or decorated to look like a hedgehog? Oh right, I keep forgetting that it's a sign that mothers don't love their children enough if the cake comes from Safeway. Sigh.

I still remember flipping through my mother's recipe books and asking her why she didn't make any of the really cool stuff. She'd always get grumpy for the rest of the day and it took me a long time to figure out why. 'Course, after I did, I kept asking why just to mess with her.

I'm really surprised I didn't end up waking up in a ditch one morning with tires squealing off into the distance.

Venus in Blue Jeans : Why Mothers & Daughters Need to Talk About Sex

For cataloging purposes, I have to check if books contain an index. I flipped to the back of the book, and this entry immediately jumped out at me.

War images for male masturbation

So! Um... like, using that for... material? Is that what they're talking about here? I flipped to the page and found out they were just talking about combat metaphors being used a lot to describe... male Onanistic behaviour. Meanwhile, women ended up with cooking and nautical terms.

[very uncomfortable silence]

Yeah, that seems like a good place to stop for the day. See ya next week!