The Ethics of the Amero

If I, for one reason or another, were to steal a certain friend's journalism diploma and go off to some podunk to write for the local newspaper, I would go up to the editor on the first day and offer up half of my salary in return for not having to write an editorial. Because after reading the constant sniping, whining, and vicious reprisals that make up the responses to editorials in the letters to the editor, I would want my hands completely clean of that nonsense.

I remember reading a rather bitter but solid editorial about how Valentine's Day is pain in the ass for single people. The next week I read an fairly scathing letter about why someone would dare try to undermine the amazing and touching public expressions of love of happy people, and other self-righteous nonsense. Hey, I'm all for the public expression of love -- especially on my computer monitor after a cold and lonely day -- but seriously! Get over yourself!

Sometimes, though, the letters to the editor will turn up something so batshit insane the letters-to-the-editor section will totally redeem itself. Take one I read a few weeks ago. The letter was chock full of tin-foil hat ramblings about how a North American Union is arising. Much like what happened in Europe, except this is all occuring under the table. And at the end of the day, the entire North American continent will be united under one currency, the Amero. Finally, there will be a level playing field amongst all three countries! A glorious partnership of communal growth that will herald a fantastic new future for all!

Wait, no! That won't happen! What will happen is that both Canada and the United States will be dragged down and stomped by Mexico and the ravaging hordes that lie within. The filthy communists have been biding their time and lying in wait, and soon, they will strike! Soon, two wealthy countries will be knocked back to the Stone Age by ugly foreigners! There will be huge muscular men in bondage gear ransacking our streets, ravishing our women, and stealing our oil! How will we ever cope?

I guess once we get used to the terrible inevitability of being forced to learn Spanish in school we will look back on our pre-Amero days and wonder... why? Why did we ever let it come to pass?

...really, why would we? Beyond the standard academic economic pondering, I see no reason why this would ever happen. I mean, the main mover and shaker here is the United States, obviously. Why would that country ever think this would be a good deal? It's like a poor neigbour swinging by and casually asking If you'd like merge your two households and surprisingly, even though there's absolutely no benefit for you and you'll have to give up a few of your things, you agree. Just for the hell of it, I suppose? Feeling nice? Hmmmm...

I'm nowhere near enlightened on all this. Just seems strange is all. And as odd as it seems, this conspiracy is picking up considerable momentum. I mean, there are anti-North American Union bills being introduced all over the place. Lots of rumbling about the evils of the SSP and what have you. Hooray for middle-class paranoia, eh?

I'd also like to point out that the letter-to-the-editor points out that once this insiduous union is formed we will be issued with a Real ID card with a VChip implanted inside. What, this thing? We won't be able to watch certain television programs anymore? Or maybe they're talking about the VChip from the South Park movie, that punished children with electric shocks for swearing. So they're taking away our ability to curse freely? Those fucking bastards! I mean... foolish twerps!

Also, "committees are already working on all this now." Oh my god in heaven, COMMITTEES? Dear lord! We better all be good or they'll send... send... TASK FORCES after us, too!

Man, this is all so dreadful. Perhaps I should watch the free DVD they offer at the end of the letter and really get myself educated on the situation.