2.24.2005

Racist Jokes

Warning: I'm not trying to offend anyone. I'm just sharing some jokes I heard last night in a bar.

Joke 1

A mexican, a native and a Canadian are sitting in a bar, each with a shot of tequila in front of them.

The mexican drains his drink and tosses his glass into the air. He grabs his six shooter and takes aim. The glass busts into tiny pieces.

The Native asks “why did you do that?”

The Mexican replies “in Mexico we have so many shot glasses you never have to use the same one twice.”

The Native tilts his head back and the shot trickles down his throat. When it’s gone, he tosses the glass into the air. The Native takes out his bow, grabs an arrow and fires at the glass. Bullseye.

The Canadian asks the Native “why did you do that?”

The Native responds “Every month I get free money from the government so I never have to drink from the same glass twice.”

Finally the Canadian slurps back his tequila. He slams his glass on the table, takes out his shotgun and blasts a hole in the Native’s head.

The curious Mexican inquires about the Canadian’s actions.

The Canadian says “there’s so many drunk natives in Canada I never have to drink with the same one twice.

Joke 2

What’s the difference between a Native and a couch?

A couch can support a family.

Joke 3

What’s the difference between a Native and a trampoline.

You take your shoes off to jump on a trampoline.

Joke 4

An American, a negro and a Mexican are sitting on a sandy beach along the west coast.

The Mexican finds a magic lamp. He rubs it and POOF a genie pops out.

“I’ll grant you one wish,” says the genie.

“I want you to gather up all the Mexicans, send them back to Mexico where they’ll prosper once again.”

“Done.”

The lamp falls to the ground. The African/American awakens the genie.

“I want you to gather up all my people and send us back to Africa where we will live off the land and prosper.”

“Done.”
The genie looks over at the American and asks “well I guess you want a wish too. What is it?”

The American says “I’ll take a coke. You got rid of all my troubles with the last two wishes.”