TV controls my head

I have a small brain. I decided this after realizing I’m too easily influenced by television.

Example: I drink Canadian beer now because I like the “do you really love me” commercial.

I also noticed TV’s impact on my pea-sized cranium last night. I wished I could have become an archeologist because I watched Indiana Jones and the Raiders of the Lost Arch.

I wish I was finding secret clues, escaping death traps and climbing into snake pits.
It would be so fun and exciting. Adrenaline pumps through my veins just thinking about it.

I also think it would be great to be a crime scene investigator. They have so many interesting cases.
Every week there’s three hard to solve murder mysteries. All come together in the end from some overlooked minute piece of evidence. It’s wild.

It would also be fun to be a thug. I could run around the city pulling people out of their cars and driving around without a care in the world. I could lose cops by having a miracle paint job on my car. It’d be sweet.

You wouldn’t want to be a clerk after watching the movie Clerks. I wonder if Joel has had sex with a dead guy in the washroom at Rolf’s?