Space Invaders

According to a story I read in the Star Phoenix, the amount of UFO sightings in Canada has decreased 36 per cent from last year.
This makes me believe that aliens are realising, much like the rest of the world already knows, that Canada doesn’t pose a threat to anyone especially an intergalactic one.
This is exactly what Canada wants everyone to believe. We want to be overlooked and then when everyone least expects it we’ll attack and take over the entire universe. There will be nothing stopping us.
Everyone thinks we have an old, depleted army. That’s not the case. We just save all our best equipment and personnel on home turf.
We send out our forty-year-old Sea Kings and our second-hand submarines to give the impression that we are nothing to be afraid of, unless you’re a passenger.
Back at home we have hangers of Stealth Bombers. Super robot soldiers equipped with nuclear-tipped bullets. I can't say anymore. They're using some super spy technology on me as I write this.
We’re just waiting for someone to piss us off. So come on, give us a little push and see what happens.


Of course the fewer sightings could be because the crazies final had their phone privileges taken away.
Either way, Canada rocks!