Spider-Goats

Goats now have the ability to spin webbing. It's part two in the animals taking over the world. Birds lighting entire forests on fire in California and now goats that can trap humans in webs. The main thing that sucks is that we're giving the goats these incredible abilities.
 
Here's a piece of the article I found on the BBC's website.

(Dane originally posted a link to the article here, but since he's an inbred twit with no regard for proper formatting, I deleted it to return the page to it's former nicely-formatted glory. Since Dane is a journalist you would think he would have a grasp on the fact that there's only a limited space to work with. But I guess not. - Joel)
 
In an unlikely coupling, genetic engineers have now bred goats that have spider silk genes inside them. By doing this, they can harvest the silk proteins from the goat's milk (silky milk, anyone?). The silk gene was just one of 70,000 that make up the DNA blueprint for building a normal goat.

In adult female goats, the silk gene is activated only while the animal is producing milk. One goat can produce about 7g of silk per day.

Spiders in space and surgery
 
Called 'biosteel', the silk is lighter, yet tougher than Kevlar, and nearly as elastic as nylon. It could be used in medical supplies, space equipment and bullet-proof vests.
So there's a new superhero in town. Swinging from skyscraper to skyscraper, fighting crime as it shoots jets of silk from its udders, it's Spider-Goat!
 
The author thinks the entire thing is a joke. I can't believe it. He won't be laughing for too much longer.
 
I've noticed that Joel was harboring a small force of terrorist animals at his trailer. Now they're all heading their separate ways to lead larger forces in the destruction of mankind. I wouldn't be surprised if Joel trained them himself. After three years of dealing with people at Rolf's, he's begun to despise all people and wants to kill them all.  
 
Damn you Joel. Damn You. 
 
By the way everyone should check out his 52 post extravaganza at http://www.brokencontroller.blogspot.com/. It's pretty funny.