It's official

I finally got my degree in the mail. I’ve been waiting since August 31.

I’m now have an applied communications degree in journalism with an English major. Yippity-dippity.

School is finally over. Now I just have to pay for it. Damn student loans.

By the way, I wanted to brag about a 3.29 GPA. It’s not the best, but for a dumb ass like myself it’s pretty impressive.

Identity revealed

Dung Beetle Guy has been identified. The tight-wearing crusader is a mere mortal.

“We’ve finally unmasked the incredible Dung Beetle Guy,” said Police Chief Johnson. “It turns out our mild-mannered sports editor is more than he appears.”

Police were tipped off, by neighbors, about the extra ordinary human when he scaled the side of his apartment building to access his suite.

The name on the lease was Aaron Dane Lutz. It didn’t take long for the police to piece the puzzle together.

“I guess the citizens living below the famed superhero saw someone rapidly climb the building,” said Johnson. “They didn’t believe any normal being could do that, so they called the RCMP.”

Police received a the call at 11:15 p.m. on Wednesday, Dec. 22.

The Police aren’t really sure where to go from here, or even if there is anywhere to go from here.

“I can’t believe I’ve been found out,” said DBG. “I didn’t think anyone was home, so I just started my way up. Normally I have my keys, but this time they were elsewhere.”

The DBG is worried about his friends and family now that his secret identity has been revealed.

“My arch nemesis can now attack me where I’m most vulnerable: my relatives and close friends.”

The vigilante is trying to find a new fortress of solitude or another secret identity.

The wonderful world of EI

I’m pissed off about EI because there are too many people taking advantage of the system.

I was hanging out in the Keg Room. It’s the pub me and my girlfriend go to.

We started talking with a couple of regular guys. One is on EI. He brings in $400 a week. I’m not sure how true this is. I never saw a cheque of anything, but let’s take his word for it.

He gets such a high EI because his seasonal work pays really well. When he is working his standard of living is high so he gets a larger payday.

Here’s what gets my lice a jumpin’:
1) Why can he stay on EI all winter until he works again in the spring?
2)Why does one person get more than another?
3)How can he justify spending the money on what he does?
4)Why the hell am I not doing this?

Number one. He said he can stay on it all winter because he paid so much into EI during the summer. He feels he deserves it.

I have been paying into EI for the past 10 years, and have no plans on dipping into the fund.

I believe the money was for helping needy people who can’t work because of illness or injury. I thought it was for people who can’t find work. I thought it was for people in desperate need, not those who don’t want to work in the winter.

There are a lot of jobs out there. It isn’t too hard to find one. I had three jobs in two weeks of looking. Those three jobs were in a specific field.

I also know a lot of people don’t want to grab a job in low-paying job, but sometimes you have to suck up the pride and do it.

This guy feels fine taking the money. Even though he is healthy and fit to work. He’d still rather take the lazy way out.

Number 2. Equality. Why should sitting on your ass pay more to one person than someone else?

I know some people have bills to pay. They have families to feed, but why should a wealthier person with some bad luck make more than a poor person down on his luck?

It should be the same. Like I said their are lots of jobs.

Take the crap job until something better comes along. Do what you have to to keep that $200,000 house and the two cars in the drive way.

There should be a bonus for extra mouths to feed, but not for material possessions. That’s crap.

Number three. He’s using his EI cheque to get loaded every weekend. I’ve been there once a week for the past month. Usually on Friday because of a 2-for-1 special.

He is always there. He even bragged about winning the jug drinking contest last weekend. It spanned three days. He said he drank 72 mini pitchers. I’m not sure how much each one cost, but that’s a hell of a lot.

I have to budget my party money. I have rent and phone and electric and car and insurance and student loan and visa to pay.

He seems to only have the tab to pay. What the hell is up with that?

Number four. I haven’t had more than four days off in three years. Not since the summer of 2002.

It’s about time for a break. I just need to find a seasonal job or somewhere I can get laid off.

I’ve put a lot of money into EI, so maybe it’s time I take some back.

It’s not like my EI contributions are going to the people who need it. It’s going to those who are just too damn lazy to work for it.

It’s time for me to go get loaded all weekend. It’s time for me to take a break. I’m tired of 40-hour work weeks. I’m sick of contributing to society so we can have a better world to live in.

It’s time for a revolt, or at least an expensive government inquiry into the whole EI system. You know one of those $1 million projects the government is always doing. Hell that would even create some more jobs for all the people on EI.

I just hope they’re not to lazy to get off their asses and do it.

Christmas Cheer

Only four more days to go, and this could be one bad Christmas for me.

I'm about to go spend my hard-earned Christmas bonus on new tires for my car. Yippy. Why do they take EI off my bonus? Screw them, I don't want lazy bastards getting a piece of my money. (I'll write a little more about this in another post.)

My grandmother is in the hospital with breast cancer.

And

My girlfriend might not get the time off work, so we can head home for the holidays.

The good news...

I'll get four days off work. It's the longest break I've had since the four days before my work term in Powell River and my last final exam. That was April 29 to May 1, 2003.

This is the first year where I'm not on a $100 budget to by my loved ones gifts with. I can actually afford some decent presents for everyone.

I might get to see the coolest of the cool: J.D.

Sexism still runs rampant in 21st century

I was just wondering what the world was coming to. Just when I thought we were getting over sexism and bringing about gender equality, Curves for women open up across the street from where I work.

I’m not allowed to get a membership. I can’t go work out in their facilities because I’m not female.

Women fought to get the right to vote. They should get equal pay with equal experience and ability. I don’t know that happens all the time, but it should.

Now it seems that being even just isn’t enough. You need your own gyms as well. Soon it’ll be women’s only everything. Isn’t giving birth enough for women? Do you need to take over the world?

Soon, men won’t be able to vote, men will get paid less and eventually men will be staying at home taking care of the kids.

Why can’t we just forget about gender, when it comes to everything except reproducing. I’m all for one man and one woman there.

Anyway, I want to see a unisex clothing store. I don’t want a men’s section and a ladies’ section. It should be all mixed together.

I want the choice of wearing women’s clothing. It should be okay with society for me to wear shirts with buttons on the left.

Washrooms should also be unisex. Ladies should have the choice to piss in a urinal if they want to. They should be able to piss in the trough like men do in some bars.

Men should be able to sit down to urinate, if they want to. Some guys have jobs where they stand for 10 hours. A minute-long sit down is nice.

Another sexist item ticking me off was brought to my attention of a co-worker.

He has a baby girl, and he often changes her. But unfortunately he can’t all the time.

Some men’s washrooms don’t have baby change tables and the floor isn’t sanitary enough. They’re should be change tables in both washrooms or better yet, a change table in the unisex bathroom.

Why is there a demand for women’s only gyms?

I’m guessing it’s because ladies don’t like being gawked at or hit on by guys.

Maybe they are embarrassed to show their physics in a leotard?

I don’t know, but it’s not right. Men and women are equal in this world. Men shouldn’t be left out. We should be able to walk into any gym and start lifting weights if we want to.

If we start segregated ourselves now, what’s next?

Small sections of a cities only for specific races? Maybe we can give them names like China Town or Little Italy? Wouldn’t that be grand.

J.D. Nielsen

Is Joel as cool as he thinks he is?

"Does Ross write here anymore?"

Hell yes.....in between finals, breakdowns and killing my computer...Huzza!

The good ol' hockey game

Could NHL be coming back? Will my lonely Saturday become fun and exciting again?

There is that possibility when the NHL and the NHLPA resume talks Thursday.

The two sides could reconcile and I could be watching hockey by January.

That’s the dream anyway. I’m usually a glass-is-half-full type of guy, but not when it comes to this lockout.

When did hockey become about money? All the greedy players fighting against all the greedy owners.

All us greedy hockey fans just want hockey. More and more hockey. I want hockey every night. Three games a night.

I want big hits, nifty goals, spiffy saves and lots of fighting.

Oops. Let me wipe the drool from my mouth. I got carried away.

I don’t believe the two sides will solve anything. I think this is more of a meeting to call the season off. The NHL will look over the new proposal and say. “No, fuck you. We want cost certainty.”

The player’s association will be like “well that’s what we fucking proposed. Take it or fuck off.”

The NHL will respond “go play in fucking Europe. See if we give a fuck.”

Player reps will counter with “well we fucking will.”

Owners “fucking fine.”

Players “fine. Then the season’s fucking off.”

Rich greedy owners “good by us. We have other sources of fucking income.”

Superstar players “fuck you.”

Then they’ll walk out of the room, and we’ll have no season. Maybe next year.

They'll clean up their talk for the press releases to the media, but that's how I predict it will go.

TV controls my head

I have a small brain. I decided this after realizing I’m too easily influenced by television.

Example: I drink Canadian beer now because I like the “do you really love me” commercial.

I also noticed TV’s impact on my pea-sized cranium last night. I wished I could have become an archeologist because I watched Indiana Jones and the Raiders of the Lost Arch.

I wish I was finding secret clues, escaping death traps and climbing into snake pits.
It would be so fun and exciting. Adrenaline pumps through my veins just thinking about it.

I also think it would be great to be a crime scene investigator. They have so many interesting cases.
Every week there’s three hard to solve murder mysteries. All come together in the end from some overlooked minute piece of evidence. It’s wild.

It would also be fun to be a thug. I could run around the city pulling people out of their cars and driving around without a care in the world. I could lose cops by having a miracle paint job on my car. It’d be sweet.

You wouldn’t want to be a clerk after watching the movie Clerks. I wonder if Joel has had sex with a dead guy in the washroom at Rolf’s?

Can't we all just get along?

I'm sick of the war. I'm sick of Bush trying to make amends with all those he didn't care about when the whole thing started. I'm sick of hearing it's for the good of the world, and I'm also sick of the whining protestors.

“I made some decisions that some in Canada obviously didn't agree with," Bush said.

"But I'm the kind of fellow who does what I think is right, and will continue to do what I think is right," Bush said in the Canadian capital, with Martin by his side at a joint news conference. (CNN.com)

Some decisions Canada didn’t agree with. More like some decisions the majority of the world didn’t agree with.

I really wish I could do what I thought was right. I think it’s right not to invade countries, not to kill innocent people, and not to go against the UN. I guess I’m doing that. To bad everyone doesn’t have the same ideas of what is right.

What’s the point of having a governing body, if you’re not going to listen to and follow their views? They are supposed to be looking out for the good of the world, not one country.

Something had to be done about 9/11, but totally changing the course of a country’s history with falsified information isn’t the way to go.

I’m for getting all the terrorist groups, but there has to be a better way than rolling over nations.

The States is a big bully. One kid finally takes a stand, but gets the worst beating of his life.

The wars aren’t even far.

At least there’s not as much death as in the World Wars.

I didn’t like the way Bush used war-time quotes to spur the Canadian people

Mr. Bush then cited former prime minister William Lyon Mackenzie King, who called for aggressive action during the Second World War.

" 'We must also go out and meet the enemy before he reaches our shores. We must defeat him before he attacks us, before our cities are laid to waste,' " Mr. Bush quoted the prime minister.

"Mackenzie King was correct then, and we must always remember the wisdom of his words today." (globeandmail.com)

I think the entire world was in that war. We were fighting for a world of freedom and peace.

We weren’t trying to overthrow governments and put puppets in their places.

He should have quoted a viking and said “kill” and “destroy.”

Someone should give him a big bag pretzels and see what happens.

I want the war to end, and I’m glad there’s peace keeping nations like Canada cleaning up the mess.

Not all Americans are bad. I know nearly half of the nation didn't vote for him, but the other choice wouldn't have been any better.